Evening Blues
by somewhatAped
Summary: A glimpse into the minds of everybody's favorite shinigami and espada one particular evening. Inspired by the game "The World Ends With You". Slight AU, rated for liberal use of everbody's favorite expletive.


Another oneshot from me-- the plotline's probably nothing new, but I wanted to try it from a different perspective. Please read and review!

I don't own Bleach

--

If I knew college would be this tough, I would've started working already. It wouldn't have been too bad, really if a certain SOMEONE would come by more often. Liar. Said he'd drop by whenever he's free, but really, what on mother effing earth would Arrancars be busy with anyway? I doubt THAT shithead would be useful in planning anything, 'cause well... he's a shithead. He doesn't even think before opening his mouth, much less plan for something like world domination. Damn... I guess I miss him more than I thought I would. I mean, he's a jerk like most of the time, no doubts about that- but I kinda got used to it anyway, and personally? I think he makes a fine bed company, not that he should know this. Wait a moment. Did I just say bed company? Gah, I guess the nympho jackass rubbed off on me. Don't blame me, though. He's been here for almost every night for 3 weeks. About a month ago. You geddit? One. Whole. Friggin'. Month. I need to get laid, dammit! Where's the asshole?!

Alright Ichigo, you have seriously got to chill...assignment's not gonna complete itself if you left it there. Time to kill your brains. Gods, I hate my life.

--

Fuck that Aizen. Fuck the fuckin' smiling pet of his, too-what's the name? Gin? Yeah, fuck the whoreass Tousen as well. Ulquiorra? Hah, fuck HIM especially. You know what? FUCK EVERYTHIN'! Stupid meetings! If we are just gonna sit all day there doin' fuck-nothing but yap about taking on the world but not doin' anything after that then WHY FRIGGIN' BOTHER CALLING ME AS WELL?! And don't even get me started on the tea! It fucking tastes like piss! What does HE think we are, some piss-drinkin' sponges? While we're on the subject of piss, that bastard Aizen just can't seem to stop droning on and on and on, I can't even get away ta take a leak! I mean, what the heck. How in Hueco Mundo are you supposed ta sit there and listen like a nice lil' kitty when yer trying so damn hard to keep yer bladder from bursting in front of everyone?! So don't say I have a short attention span, 'cuz i don't. At least I lasted fer an hour . Stark did 5 before falling asleep. Minutes, that is. And if ya still think so, well, you can ask the idiot arrancar whose brains I just burned into the walls with for saying that.

What I need now is a good screw. A long, hard, kinky screw- and I know just who ta find. Knowing him he'd probably be bawling his balls out that I'm not there for so long. I am just THAT great. There he is, doin' his bloody homework... Hate it when he does that. So fucking hard ta make him forget 'bout it. But not for long, heheheh.

--

Shitshitshitshitshit this is impossible! No human can do this! What on earth were they thinking giving me this? I mean, is am I gonna even NEED this when I get a job?! Sigh... Come to think 'bout it, I'm kinda hungry now... haven't have had a real meal in 2 days...Man, what I'd do for a huge bowl of ramen now... Maybe I'll just pop down the street—heard the ones near here are really good... Or not. Shit. Broke again?! Stupid goathead. Being a doctor and all you would've thought he'd be at least have more money for his son. For food, no less! You know what, screw it! I'm going to bed (hungry)!

Dang, not ANOTHER hollow! I swear, one of these days I'm just gonna smash this goddamn shinigami badge here if I'm not getting enough sleep...Wait. This reiatsu...Grimm? That fucker, coming now after dumping me alone here for a month? No way you're gonna get it this time, Jeagerjaques, nu-uh. You just wait and see. That's right, come on closer asshole, I'm not looking..

--

HE FUCKIN' WHACKED MY HEAD WITH A DICTIONARY AND EFFIN' LOCKED ME OUT!! NO ONE DOES THIS TA GRIMMJOW JEAGERJAQUES! KUROSAKI FUCKING ICHIGO YA BETTER OPEN THIS DAMN' WINDOW NOW OR I'LL CERO YER APARTMENT AND YER (HOT) PANSY ASS TO OBLIVION!

My throat's all raw from yellin' at him thru the window, my head hurts like shit, I see double images of everything now and I am STILL locked out. Damn, 's getting cold out here... Shit, is that rain? Jeagerjaques, ya better think of a way ta get in or yer gonna be in deep shit. Gotta use plan B, now. IIIccccchhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiii...! Hah, I knew beggin' him'd work. Dumbass always falls fer this kinda mushy shit. C'mon now, lemme in...

--

Holy Mother Mary, first he yells and screams and now he's whining outside? I friggin' bashed his head five times with a bloody dictionary, for crying out loud! Any normal being would've gotten the clue already! Ah, who am I kidding here? It's Grimm we're talking about-- he's probably too dumb to get that I'm too bloody tired to fuck. Yeah, "Let's screw '_Ichi_' senseless! Ah, who cares if he's tired, or hungry? OR THAT I HAVE IGNORED HIM FOR ONE WHOLE MONTH?! I just want sexsexsexsexsex!". Fuck, I get so mad just thinking about it. No, Jeagerjaques, you are so not gonna get it tonight-- so just go the fuck away and leave me alone! Where's the bucket when you need it?...Heck, I'm so hungry I can barely stand now... But first, I gotta get rid of that stupid blue cat at the window..Shit, I'm felling woozy now.

--

He IS NOT holding a bucket right now. Wait, is he gonna splash me? No shit, Jeagerjaques get yer ass off here-- quick! Ahah, he's opening the window... maybe if I pounced in I can fuck him there. Alright, here he comes... he-- faints? Ichi? C'mon now, I wanna fuck, no more games! Ichi? Oh shit. He really IS knocked out. Damn he looks hot even when he's KOed... should I fuck him now? ...Nah, it'll be like fuckin' a log. And what the heck is that annoying rumbling sound? It's coming from... Ichi? His...stomach? Ah, now I get it. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, as usual, yer a genius. Time fer plan C.

--

It's really...warm. I mean, really, really, in-a-nice-kinda-way warm. And gosh, whats THAT smell? Ramen? I must've died and went to heaven or something. One way to find out. First, I gotta unwrap myself from these blankets.

Grimm? How'd he get in here? Oh. Right. That. I must've blacked out, then. Fuck. That bastard, knowing him he must've raped me when I still unconscious! There he is, that smiling dumbass-- I'm SO gonna pound his face in! What's he holding there anyway?

Shit, he got me ramen—and it's goddamn TONKOTSU! Aww... Grimm can be so sweet if he wants to-- If. I like him better this way, actually...And is it me, or is he looking hot tonight? Heh, I guess I gotta reward him tonight.

--

Score one fer the big G! Guess today wasn't so bad after all. Ichi sure is willing tonight, heheheh..

domo arigatou!


End file.
